Dear Eric: My wife’s brother and his wife recently left on a six-week overseas trip, leaving their 14-year-old son at home with his grandfather, who speaks very little English. They didn’t leave any instructions with anyone in case of an emergency.
My wife and I are close to their son, “Bobby”. Last week, Bobby had a mental breakdown. He called us, and we took him to see his doctor, who after asking a number of questions, promptly instructed us to take him to the psych ward at the adjacent hospital. He was subsequently moved to a behavioral health clinic where he is currently a patient.
Both my wife and I pleaded with her brother “Sid” to come home, that their son needed them. The social workers, Bobby’s doctor and his counselors have tried to persuade Sid and his wife to come home to no avail. He’s ignored my messages and has talked to his sister twice to check in.
To see Bobby like this is killing us, and I can hardly control my anger at Sid and his wife. What, if anything, should I say when they return from their trip?
—Furious Uncle
Dear Uncle: I should think the social workers and doctors will have a lot to say to Sid and his wife, probably before you have a chance to speak with them. Bobby is clearly in crisis and their disregard not only comes across as callous but strongly suggests a troubling home life.
Because you’re close with Bobby and you stepped up when the parents didn’t, I think you should say whatever’s on your mind — that you’re angry, that you’re concerned, that you don’t understand their actions. What feels more important than venting, however, is making sure they know, and Bobby knows, that he has an advocate. Please keep in contact with the social workers, as well. If Bobby is being neglected at home, he’s going to continue to need someone like you to stand up for him.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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